As a single lady, if a man you are in relationship with is demanding per-marital sex from you, the truth is that he will ask another woman for extra-marital sex after he marries you. What makes him to ask for premarital sex from you is what will make him to ask extra-marital sex from another woman after marriage: Lack of self control. It’s the same sin of sexual immorality, but the only difference is:
When you allow premarital sex with your partner during courtship, you don’t feel cheated, disappointed, or heart broken as Jesus feels, but when your husband does extra-marital sex, you will feel the same disappointment, brokenhearted and cheating that Jesus feels.
The Problems and their Solutions.
(1) If a single man has problem with uncontrollable passion which is called lust, uncontrolled sexual huge, the solution is not premarital sex, it is not even marriage, because marriage cannot solve the problem of lust, and marriage does not produce self-control. The solution is to surrender to Jesus genuinely and bring forth the fruit of the Spirit called Self-control by total dedication to God in His Word, His will and prayer for God’s grace. Self-control comes by God’s grace after genuine salvation, not by marriage or premarital sex. “…..gentleness, self-control. Against such there is no law.” Galatians 5:23.
As a single sister in the Lord, if a man is not ready to surrender to Jesus and to live in purity with you, to keep yourselves till marriage, such man is not God’s will for your life or he has lost his way. You cannot be happily married with immoral man who will cheat on Jesus and on you at the end. It is better to let go and let God, than to hold on and get burned.
(2) If you are a married or you are a single woman, and your man is asking you to wear body exposing clothing, immoral dress; the issue is because the man has problem with lust and he thinks seeing you half naked in public can solve that problem, NO. The solution is Salvation in Jesus and grace of God for self control. (But you can wear anything in your room to attract your husband alone in your apartment without another man seeing such.)
(3) If you have committed premarital sex, that is, fornication, before marriage, all you need to do is to confess to God, and ask Him to forgive you, then you confess to your pastor, spiritual leaders, to your Christian partners, and to your parents. If you are already married, you will still need to confess to your church and the church that joined you together without the knowledge of the fornication. If you are not yet married, and the man or woman you are in relationship with is not ready for repentance, purity and to open up, it means the person is not a child of God or he is a backslider or a fake Christian.
1 Thessalonians 4:3-8
“For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you should abstain from sexual immorality; 4 that each of you should know how to possess his own vessel in sanctification and honor, 5 not in passion of lust, like the Gentiles who do not know God; 6 that no one should take advantage of and defraud his brother in this matter, because the Lord is the avenger of all such, as we also forewarned you and testified. 7 For God did not call us to uncleanness, but in holiness. 8 Therefore he who rejects this does not reject man, but God, who has also given us His Holy Spirit.”
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