CAN CHILDREN OF GOD COHABIT?
Cohabitation is an arrangement where a man and woman who are not married live together in an intimate relationship, particularly an emotionally and/or sexually intimate one, on a short-term, long-term or permanent basis; living together in a sexual relationship without being married.
People cohabit for several reasons: some because of financial difficulty to do wedding, so they decide to live together until they can gather enough money for wedding; some cohabit to test and try their relationship, and see if they can move forward to proper marriage; some cohabit because either parents do not support the relationship, so they decide to live together until both parents support. Others cohabit because of relocation, and so they stay together for the time other partner gets his or her apartment or till they marry. Some also cohabit, not because of marital relationship, but to assist the other opposite sex who needs accommodation.
The Bible truth is that, cohabitation is a sin wherever you are or whatever reasons you have, because:
IT’S SEXUAL IMMORALITY
Having sex with a partner before a legal and official wedding is a sin of sexual immorality of fornication, and no fornicator is a child of God or will enter heaven. 1 Corinthians 5:11, “But now I have written unto you not to keep company, if any man that is called a brother be a fornicator…..with such an one no not to eat.” Fornicators dishonor their bodies.
IT’S DISHONORING GOD’S NAME
“What if we live together and we don’t have sex?” Even when there is no sex between both people, though rare, it is dishonoring God’s name; they are defiling God’s name before people. As children of God, we are not only to live with pure conscience before God, but also before men. “And herein do I exercise myself, to have always a conscience void to offense toward God, and toward men.” Acts 24:16. When you and an opposite sex are living together, either just for a single night or several days, you are passing wrong message to people and living in conscience full of offense towards people.
IT’S AN ACT OF DISORDER
God is not an Author of confusion, but He is an Author of an orderly marriage, where wedding takes place before marriage; having marriage before wedding is a serious act of disorder of high grade. We cannot disorder God’s orderly arranged institution and procedure, and expect God’s approval.
SO WHAT IF OUR PARENTS AND PASTORS ARE AWARE AND SUPPORT US? Even if your parents are aware and your pastors support, it does not overrule the truth that premarital sex is a sin. When your parents support your cohabitation, then you are not sinning against your parents, since they support, but you are only sinning against God; and when your pastors support you cohabiting, you are not sinning against your pastors then, but against your own soul. Fornication cannot turn to familiarity because of the support of parents or pastors, it only means the pastors are immoral and the parents are mis-supporting.
AND WHAT IF WE ALREADY HAVE CHILDREN? Having children do not make a marriage, what makes a marriage is a legal wedding between a man and a woman after paying dowry as expected in your community. Having children in cohabitation is simply bringing forth children on spoiled and sinful foundation.
If a man and woman are living together as married without legal wedding or without paying dowry, people may see them as married couple, family and friends may address them as married, but to God, they are sinful partners living together.
There was a story of a woman cohabiting with a man in the Bible, what did Jesus tell her? “Jesus said to her, “You have well said, ‘I have no husband,’ for you have had five husbands, and the one whom you now have is not your husband; in that you spoke truly.” John 4:17, 18. The woman had had 5 husbands recognized by Jesus as “husbands” because they did what it took to be husbands, but the man she was living with at that moment was only recognized by Jesus as “the one”, not as husband. No matter how many years you live together, no matter how many kids you have together, you are not recognized by God as husband and wife.
If you are living with an opposite sex partner or friend, you need to repent by realizing it to be sin, and asking God to forgive you. Genuine experience of salvation is very important. Then you do the right thing immediately – part away or do the right things. If you already have children and concluded to marry, you may not need to do elaborate wedding, just inform your parents, go to the government to legalize it and pay bride price as demanded by your culture immediately. You should do this without delay or detach from each other until this is done. It is better to separate, surrender your life to Jesus and pray for God’s guidance, because the person may not even be God’s will for you to marry, since you are now a child of God.
There is eternal condemnation for those who live in cohabitation and die in such condition, and if rapture takes place in such condition, there is no way such people can make the rapture to meet the Lord, because it is living in immorality, and no immoral person will enter heaven or make the rapture.
Romans 12:1, 2,
“I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that you present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable to God, which is your reasonable service. 2 And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.”
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